May God Bless our garages and contents therein, as well as our good works we doith in said garages!
1.The garage shall be forever kept as the sacred realm of the Man. No lacy curtains nor gingham privacy panels shall be allowed on the windows of the sacred garage.
2.The garage shall not be cleaned, except in cases of extreme need, such as when a pair of holy Vise-Grip locking pliers hath gone missing.
3.Sawdust, grease, and oil are the holy sacraments of the garage, and thus must never be disposed of in haste or with malice.
4.Honor thy rags.
5.Complaineth not when the Man's Friends cometh over to work on a four-wheel-drive vehicle on a Thursday night until 2:00 a.m. Be thee grateful that the Man and his Friends are not attending stimulating performances of voluptuous harlots at Shotgun Willies on this evening.
6.Thou shalt not remove the beer bottles from the front yard before work in the garage hath yet been completed. Yea, the front yard must be considered an extension of the garage when the garage door remaineth in an upright and horizontal position.
7.Honor the Man and his Friends at all times, even when one of these Friends dropeth a heavy steel truck wheel in the driveway at 12:30 a.m., awakening thyself and wrathful neighbors who calleth to complain.
8.Storeth not antique doll houses in the garage.
9.Thou shalt not ask the Man to bring in the groceries when you see that his hands are greasy, or that he is underneath a car working on the evil U-joint.
10.Adjust not the volume of music that playeth in the garage. Impose not your questionable music tastes on those who savor the druidic chant of Rage Against The Machine at 11 p.m.
11.Borroweth not the hammer of the Man which hangeth in position on the blessed pegboard. If thou breakest this commandment, at least have the courtesy to place the hammer back in correct position on the blessed pegboard. No, putting it on the workbench isn't good enough---how wouldst the man know to looketh there?
12.Tools of the garage shouldst remain in the garage at all times, excepting when the Man shall use them for home repair, in which case the sacred tools must remain wherever the Man leaves them, verily including even the kitchen counter and the upstairs hallway.
13.Leaveth not the tools of the Man on the back porch, lest they become rusty from rain.
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1967 Parisienne 2+2 1967 Grande Parisienne
1967 Laurentian 1967 Strato Chief
Remember, "The Government" only has money confiscated from us.
1956 Pontiac Pathfinder 2dr sedan, 496 - dyno'd 545 hp, stick shift, 4.11 posi - Hot Rod