Save 5% at Vevor and Support Canadian Poncho!
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Canadian Poncho Homepage -> Canadian Poncho -> The Lounge -> Christmas stress
Post Info TOPIC: Christmas stress
57poncho


Uber Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3811
Date:
Christmas stress
Permalink  

Ok guys need to vent . I have been divorced twice and had 2 boy each time. They are 23,22,16 and 13. My stress comes from they all really have nothing to do with. I don't feel I have bone any thing wrong to them but some times that what happens in these situations. Well to day I am supposed to pick 3 of them up to go to my brothers the 22,16 and 13 year old. The 23 year old has not spoke to me in over 10 years and live in the US some where. The 22 year old just got back in touch with me after 4 years of no contact. They moved and I did not no where to find him. Well when he did get back in touch with me he is so messed its not even funny did to many drugs and had a nervous brake down. The other 2 I have not seen since May. Their mother is a real nut job and makes it very hard for me to see them.
Some time I feel like I am just being used by the younger 2 they always have time around their birthday and Christmas When it is time to get gifts. Now today the 13 year old phones and say he is going out with his aunt and I can't pick him up till 3:00. I was supposed to pick them up at 2:00 and then go get their older brother. So now this puts my a hour behind and I hate to be late getting to place. This will now make me late getting to my brothers for dinner. Owell guess seeing them makes it all worth while but it sure stress me out. Sorry for dumping on you guy at this tome of year but just meeded to vent.

__________________

1957 Pathfinder deluxe 4 door wagon
1961 Pontiac Parisienne bubble top Traded for a Harley sorry guys.

2007 Grand Prix Gxp

2009 Pontiac Montana SV6

Winnipeg MB 
427carl


A Poncho Legend!

Status: Offline
Posts: 35601
Date:
Permalink  

That was a good rant  Vern!    I am sure you will find out from us, that you are not alone!  
 Our phone has been ringing with grandaughter fighting with new step Dad  and wife trying to referee  and so on... 
  My Wife sent my mother a Charlie Brown "table size" tree, and placed it in a vase, and weighted it and wrapped it with Chistmas material  and put in a extension  cord, and I "made " a longer box, so it was "shipped intact"  cost 50.00 to  ship it   Called Mother, and she tore open the box and pulled the tree out and through out the vase, and battieries and says  what do I do with this ****? And she tells every one that we (never send her anything)  lol   Getting old is fun eh?... We all have stories..   Just do the best you can, and give them the love and gifts, and patience    you will be rewarded

__________________

 
Nov 18 to Dec 2 Black Friday UP TO 50% OFF Plus Huge Coupons
Nov 18 to Dec 2 Black Friday UP TO 50% OFF Plus Huge Coupons
dualquadpete


Canadian Poncho Superstar!

Status: Offline
Posts: 5682
Date:
Permalink  

Hang in there Vern, again your not alone, I'm on my 2nd. marrage & the split family does present "problems" You'll get through it just like the rest of us in the same position!!! Breath deep, count to ten & go with the flow, It's alot easier than fighting it.

__________________

Some times I wake up GRUMPY, but today I let her sleep in    !!!!!!!! BLACKSTOCK Ont.
4SPEED427


A Poncho Legend!

Status: Offline
Posts: 50241
Date:
Permalink  

Vern, you already know this but I will just reinforce it anyway. At this point in their life, all you can do (and the BEST thing you can do) is provide stability. If you show them a patient, stable, I-love-you-no-matter-what attitude, it will be rewarded in the end. Sooner or later they will realize that their dad was the one who was right all along and they will want to be like their role model.

It may take a long time. You may never reap the rewards. My mom did that with my brother who rebelled horribly when he was younger. When she died, he was not speaking to her. After she died, he never spoke to me for about 17 years except once when he called on my 40th birthday. He and I are now on excellent terms (his son is 67SD396 on here) and we spent a great time together at our cottage this summer. Nothing changed, neither of us went to the other and said it needed to be sorted out, he just decided life was too short to live this way I think.

It's a tough time of year Vern. Seems to bring out the worst in people.

And thank you for venting here so that we may encourage you. It takes guts, I know. Remember me here about 8 months back when I was living on an island............





__________________

1966 Strato Chief 2 door, 427 4 speed, 45,000 original miles 

1966 Grande Parisienne, 396 1 of 23 factory air cars (now converted to a "factory" 4 speed)
Canadian Poncho


A Poncho Legend!

Status: Offline
Posts: 27454
Date:
Permalink  

Those of us who have been divorced can relate. My ex and I had a misunderstanding today about picking up my son. I don't (can't) let it bother me anymore. My son and I have an excellent relationship and that's all that matters to me.



__________________

Todd
Site Founder

Like us on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/CanadianPoncho

Canadian Poncho World Headquarters - Prince Edward Island

 
03cts sport


Uber Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3568
Date:
Permalink  

My Father-in law once said to me..."Be good to each other, and you'll be good for each other." Simple words, but great advise in any relationship, whether it be spouse, sibling, parent etc. It's tough when the other is not being "good" to us, but lets not forget that there are times when we are not "good" to them. All you can do is keep up your end of the bargain in being "good", and know that eventually "good" will come from it...
Enjoy your Christmas as these are the good 'ol days!
Merry Christmas all!!!!

__________________

"So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think... The good outnumber you, and we always will."  Patton Oswalt
87 player bird


Poncho Master!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2050
Date:
Permalink  

I feel for you. Tis is no way to live. I hope that you kids grow up soon and realize the situation for what it is. Good luck and be patient. I don't know if this helps but, Merry Christmas.

__________________
Nov 18 to Dec 2 Black Friday UP TO 50% OFF Plus Huge Coupons
Nov 18 to Dec 2 Black Friday UP TO 50% OFF Plus Huge Coupons
sixtywagon


Uber Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3463
Date:
Permalink  

Kids will usually grow and learn that it wasn't you at fault, and ex's, well, theres a reason they're ex's, right.... Have a Great Holiday, and try not to get too stressed about things...

__________________

1960 Pontiac Strato Chief Safari
1960 Laurentian Safari 
1960 Laurentian 4door(scrapped)
2001 Grand Am Traded on a '96 Suburban 2WD
2002 Hyundai Accent(SOLD)
1968 Grand Parisienne Scrapped and SOLD

 

Calgary, Alberta, but raised in Peterborough
Elroy


Poncho Master!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2063
Date:
Permalink  

Keep on keepin on Vern, keep spoiling those kids even though they are using you sort of, they will remember your smile and all the good things you do with them. They grow up so quick and then the youth years are gone....

Thanks for sharing, we all need to support each other these days. This is such a great site for that, you guys are all great ! Merry Christmas to all ! Its been great here with all my kids and grandkids to be at home, havin a great time even got old JD going, my John Deere Liquifire 440, 30 years old !!

__________________
67BBSD


Canadian Poncho Superstar!

Status: Offline
Posts: 6366
Date:
Permalink  

Christmas is the most stressful time of year

__________________
Beaumont4008


Uber Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3936
Date:
Permalink  

Hang in there Vern, your not alone. I just said to the wife this is the worst Christmas ever.  I lost a freind this month, the wifes dad had a heart attack this month also, Our nerves are shot from looking after three grandchildren all week, One daughter is fighting with here husband, stepson is fighting with his girl freind and afraid he might move back (No,) My other daughter and two grandchildren just moved to Bahrain with her husband (some were  in the Persian gulf) My other daughter never talkes to me. My son and family are leaving for Mexico tomorrow for a holiday. (wish I could go)  All in all it has been crappy so far.  

__________________
57poncho


Uber Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3811
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks for all the support guys I knew if there was a place I could rant this was it. But on a high note just got home from supper and all went well. Was great to see the boys and the rest of the family. Thanks again and Merry Christmas
Vern

__________________

1957 Pathfinder deluxe 4 door wagon
1961 Pontiac Parisienne bubble top Traded for a Harley sorry guys.

2007 Grand Prix Gxp

2009 Pontiac Montana SV6

Winnipeg MB 
Nov 18 to Dec 2 Black Friday UP TO 50% OFF Plus Huge Coupons
Nov 18 to Dec 2 Black Friday UP TO 50% OFF Plus Huge Coupons
4SPEED427


A Poncho Legend!

Status: Offline
Posts: 50241
Date:
Permalink  

Nice to hear you had a good evening Vern.

__________________

1966 Strato Chief 2 door, 427 4 speed, 45,000 original miles 

1966 Grande Parisienne, 396 1 of 23 factory air cars (now converted to a "factory" 4 speed)
427carl


A Poncho Legend!

Status: Offline
Posts: 35601
Date:
Permalink  

Very nice to hear pray.gif  Almost like answered prayer 

__________________

 
Canadian Poncho


A Poncho Legend!

Status: Offline
Posts: 27454
Date:
Permalink  

Good news Vern! Beaumont4008 - hang in there. We'll all say a prayer for you and your wife to have a better 2010.
Our Christmas Eve dinner went well. I hope all this freezing rain holds off so that I can get my son back to his mom safely - I'm to drop him off at 1pm.



__________________

Todd
Site Founder

Like us on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/CanadianPoncho

Canadian Poncho World Headquarters - Prince Edward Island

 
67BBSD


Canadian Poncho Superstar!

Status: Offline
Posts: 6366
Date:
Permalink  

its terrible what gets into people-if you could have only seen my 71 year old mother after my 48 year old brother tore into her today.

__________________
4SPEED427


A Poncho Legend!

Status: Offline
Posts: 50241
Date:
Permalink  

I have posted before about the strained relations with my mom and my brother 20+ years ago. When I read that Ken, it just reminds me all over how that used to be for us. It rips me apart seeing/hearing stuff like that. I have been to two funerals the past 2 weeks. It makes me realize what is worth stressing over and what is not worth stressing over. Almost without exception the family squabbles are not so important that family needs to be torn apart. That is so sad.

I'm sorry your Christmas was ruined that way Ken.

__________________

1966 Strato Chief 2 door, 427 4 speed, 45,000 original miles 

1966 Grande Parisienne, 396 1 of 23 factory air cars (now converted to a "factory" 4 speed)
Nov 18 to Dec 2 Black Friday UP TO 50% OFF Plus Huge Coupons
Nov 18 to Dec 2 Black Friday UP TO 50% OFF Plus Huge Coupons
67BBSD


Canadian Poncho Superstar!

Status: Offline
Posts: 6366
Date:
Permalink  

Carl Stevenson wrote:

I have posted before about the strained relations with my mom and my brother 20+ years ago. When I read that Ken, it just reminds me all over how that used to be for us. It rips me apart seeing/hearing stuff like that. I have been to two funerals the past 2 weeks. It makes me realize what is worth stressing over and what is not worth stressing over. Almost without exception the family squabbles are not so important that family needs to be torn apart. That is so sad.

I'm sorry your Christmas was ruined that way Ken.


Thanks Carl, I had a good Christmas-we had my parents over for a nice lunch then went to my sister's place for Christmas dinner my parents included (they stopped at my brother's in between) My Dad suffered his second heart attack in september-we are very lucky he is with us as we are lucky we are all here/heathy-I've had a temporary contract job for the past few months so we had means to provide (you seen the Christmas tree !) my brother and I were best friends for many years-things change I guess, no family should be divided but they are-no 70 year old woman should put up with that but they do.

 



__________________
Beaumont4008


Uber Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3936
Date:
Permalink  

Things went not to bad today, one Daughter showed up with four of the grandkids and had a nice christmas dinner with them.  And a bonus, my brother who I have not heard from in years phoned me. Was good to hear from him.

__________________
Elroy


Poncho Master!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2063
Date:
Permalink  

Glad the suppers went well Vern and Ian. Sometimes our perceptions of how things are going
to go can stop us from letting good things happen. Way to stick it out and keep on keepin on ! Hope the rest of your Christmas season goes great!

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Canadian Poncho Homepage -> Canadian Poncho -> The Lounge -> Christmas stress
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us
.
Support Canadian Poncho!
Select Amount:
<
.
.
.