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Canadian Poncho Homepage -> Canadian Poncho -> The Lounge -> 2002 Focus- Funny Craiglist ad.
Post Info TOPIC: 2002 Focus- Funny Craiglist ad.
mike667


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2002 Focus- Funny Craiglist ad.
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I was sent this ad. Anyone see this before.


2002 Focus good reliable first car $2000 (Cape Girardeau)

Reply to: blog-1288308771@craigslist.org
Date: 2010-04-09, 7:43AM America/Chicago
Category: For Sale, Funny

0diggsdigg

Date: 2010-04-01, 10:33PM CDT

Reply to: sale-fm8×7-1672654758@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for a first car for a teen? This car is absolutely brilliant. Its got low mileage (68k), has been super reliable, and is excellent on gas. Since youre likely paying for the gas, this will make things much cheaper on you. I average like 37MPG to a tank. And with such low mileage, itll work great for a long long time.

But you wanna know the best reason to buy this car for your kid?

Its slow as ****. You dont have to worry about speeding tickets or accidents in this baby. Your kid could have a 1 mile run and hit a brick wall not wearing a seatbelt and not be going fast enough to do ****. And there wont be any sense in him getting some ****ty ass fart can off of eBay this car has the super slow SPI engine, no sense in trying to make it any faster. Its a 4-door, so your kid wont try to put gay ass Lambo doors on it. It is still possible to fit this with a body kit, but if youd like, for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this.

Its a 5-speed, so your kid cant talk on his cell phone while playing Gameboy and smoking pot hell have to actually pay attention. It also means you wont have to pay for an automatic transmission when your kid beats the hell out of it. Its got a new clutch and new tires, so youll know if he does burnouts. After all, Im sure YOURE the one paying for tires, right? Its got an aftermarket head unit in it, so your kid wont **** it up when him and his buddies try to wire in a phat ass system. Its already had the speakers replaced too, so he wont have to tear the door cards on and then look like a retard when he cant get them back on. Its got manual windows too, so he cant **** up the window motors when he rolls one of his friends heads up in it as a joke. A new battery means when he leaves his headlights on, it wont leave you totally stranded.

But really though, one of the best parts is that, because it is a 4 door, it will be somewhat embarrassing for him to be seen in. Im sure you get pissed at him from time to time. Hell, youre probably mad at him for harassing you into buying him a first car. So get this one. It has no A/C, so youll know hes suffering every time you get mad at him. Pretty satisfying. Itll bring a smile to your face too, to know hes rolling around looking like a faggot in a Ford Focus.

So buy this car for your kid. You wont regret it

Contact: 573-334-4363

<img src=http://images.craigslist.org/3nb3me3lb5V25Q55U6a4149d8804590341d46.jpg>



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grande jim


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How is it that he knows my kid sooo well?

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LN7 NUT


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I love this!

My first car is (because I still have it) a 1937 Dodge 2 door.... but I only recently got the last few parts I needed to start building it, but my first mobile car was a 1983 Ford Escort wagon with an 82 EXP nose on it, it was flat black with a white hood, random gray white and black interior parts, 4 different styles of 13 inch rims, a worn out formerly 70 hp 1.6 4 cyl with a worn out automatic (the 81-88 Escort autos are slugs at best) and it was beat up and ugly as sin.... and I loved that car!

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RDubya


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Hilarious! The way things are going pocketbook wise at my house our son is going to inherit my Corolla or my wife's Focus. Her Focus is a sport model, but i wouldn't drive it to the limit, feels like something's gonna fall off if you drive it to fast!

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LN7 NUT


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I dunno, I've flogged those Focus's pretty hard and they seem to like it...

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ZigZag


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This reminds me of an ad some guy put in the Saskatoon Kijiji a few months ago trying to sell his "macho" 2005 Jeep Liberty.  It even made the news on a few radio stations around here.

The ad is long gone, but here's the text:


OK, let me start off by saying this jeep is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this jeep would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need.  It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The jeep  also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $9950, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 142000 on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

Source: http://www.na4wda.org/index.php?action=printpage;topic=2741.0

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tc


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Sure BEATS your average used car AD.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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