> So, I am at Walmart self-scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of
> groceries while an employee monitors my activities from her "podium".
> And then this happened.
>
>
>
> Her - Why are you double-bagging all of your groceries?
>
> Me - Excuse me?
>
> Her - You are wasting our bags.
>
> Me - If you don't like the way I'm bagging the groceries, feel free
> to come on over here and bag them yourself.
>
> Her - That's not my job!
>
> Me - Okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that's
> alright with you.
>
> Her - Why are you using two bags?
>
> Me - Because the bags are weak, and I don't want the handles to break
> or the bottoms to rip out.
>
> Her - Well, that's because you are putting too much stuff in the bag.
> If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag, then
> you wouldn't need to double bag.
>
> (10 seconds of me just staring at her)
>
> Me - So you want me to split these items in half and put half of them
> in a different bag so that I don't have to double bag.
>
> Her - Exactly.
>
> Me - So I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
>
> Her - No, because you wouldn't be double-bagging.
>
> (Me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop
> twitching.)
>
> Me - Okay. So here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice
> double-bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging
> and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single
> bag, I'm still using two bags for these two items.
>
> Her - No, because you are not double-bagging them so it's not the
> same number of bags.
>
> (Me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are
> enjoying the show.)
>
> Me - Is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
>
> Her - Never mind. You just don't get it.
>
> And with that she went back to her little podium so she could
> continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she
> was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging
> skills.
>
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> My husband and I went through the McDonald's drive thru window, and I
> gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her
> 25c.
>
> She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
>
> I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
>
> She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
>
> I did so, and he handed me back the 25 cents, and said 'We're sorry
> but we don't do that kind of thing.'
>
> The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
>
> Tip: Do not confuse the people at McD's.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
> We had to have the garage door repaired.
>
> The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not
> have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
>
> I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one made at
> that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
>
> He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower'.
>
> I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not.
> Four is larger than two.'
>
> We haven't used that repairman since.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------
>
> I live in a semi-rural area.
>
> We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to
> request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
>
> The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't
> think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
>
> My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked
> the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce. He said he was
> sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
>
> .-----------------------------------------------------------
>
> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
> asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
> knowledge? 'To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how
> would I know?'He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>
> The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
>
> I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
>
> She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
>
> I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
>
> Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'
>
> She is a government employee.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>
> When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car
> after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went
> to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
> unlock the driver's side door.
>
> As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
> handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
>
> 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'
>
> His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
>
> ---------------------------------------------
>
> STAY ALERT! They walk among us, they breed, and they vote!

Ref's warning 

 

^ Drug runners. Explain to me why the Howell's were so flush for a 3-hour tour.

 

The older you get, the................!



Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida toplay golf and catch up with each other.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
Where you wanna go?
Hooters.
Why Hooters?
They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs.
You're on.
At age 42, they meet and play golf again
OK Where you wanna go for lunch?Hooters.
Again? Why?
They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games.
OK.
At age 52 they meet and play again.
"So where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters.
Why?
The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking.
OK.
At age 62 they meet again.
After a round of golf, one says,
"Where you wanna go?"
Hooters.
Why?
Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy.
Good choice
At age 72 they meet again.
Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
Hooters.
Why?
They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts.
Great choice.
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
Hooters.
Why?
Because we've never been there before.
Okay, lets give it a try."

67Poncho wrote:

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To all.

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 WHAT HE SAID............